Mommy Moments...

Today has been a pretty good day. Other than my one down fall that can always get me down. 

To begin my story I have to start with yesterday. So Bobby and I have picked up going to this mall near by some mornings just for something to do.  We never buy anything but it's fun to go and look around! By the way... This mall is HUGE! It's an outlet mall that has pretty much EVERY store you could think of in it! They even have Abercrombie and Hollister which I thought was pretty crazy... Anyways... that isn't my story! While we were walking through the mall we came across this HUGE Baby Depot store! Yes, I was THRILLED! But, we didn't go in because I hate looking at baby stuff since we don't know what we are having yet? (3 more weeks! :]) Well... Last night we went to red box since it was monday and we get the code and they are free, so of course I had to take it back today... So I decided that I would go to the Baby Depot store just because I could! As I was about to walk out the door I got this sudden urge to call my mom. I haven't had one of these feelings in awhile actually for probably a year. But today was different. And the whole reason I wanted to was to tell her about this Baby Depot store that we had found! Of all the reasons it was that one. So because of this feeling of course I cried! Thinking of all the reasons to want to call my mom it had to be this one, and that I couldn't call her! So I then thought... Maybe I'll call my dad. But realizing that calling my dad and telling him how I felt would just make him sad! So I just dealt with it... =[[[ Gahlll... I miss my mom so much! I know I've said this before but I obviously do! I'm sad that she wasn't here for the most important days of my life. Well she was... But I couldn't talk to her! I guess I should just consider myself lucky to have had her for myself as l

ong as I did.  But that doesn't mean that I can't be selfish and wish she was still here. I hate it when I see girls take there mom for granted... I have watched my niece treat her mom like garbage and just wished that she could understand! Or when Bobby's mom calls and he ignores the call saying that he'll call her later... This "little" actions break my heart. 1) Because I will never again get to ignore my mom's phone call. 2) I won't get to take a picture of my mom holding my baby. 3) I don't get to do anything else with her in this life! Things like this terrify me. I read blogs about girls going and spending days at a time with their moms. And yes, I do consider myself jealous!  Because all of the people that new my mom would tell ANYONE how amazing she was. At her viewing, the line was out the and around the block. People that I had never met and didn't know came and told me how MY mother had touched there lives. My mom was only 48 years old when she died. To me, that's too young. My grandmother who I never got to meet died when she was 49. These numbers terrify me as my baby gets closer and closer to entering this world. I don't want to leave it the way that I or my mother was left. Especially because of how hard on you emotionally it can be.

Anyways enough ranting on and on! The good news is... This Baby Depot store is absolutely amazing! Everything is a great price and I found the "perfect" crib! literally! And ironically enough is even had a sports themed quilt set for the display! =]]] Well I'm sure I'll update this again soon enough! Especially since in 20 days we found out if we will be buying that sports themed quilt set or the pink one next to it! ;)